Short Funny Story (at least i think it's funny)

Bill and Mary just got married a week ago and bought there first new home together. It's not much of a home yet with the towers of boxes all over the place, but it'll get there. While unpacking the boxes Bill and Mary came across a lot of old memories that just tickled their stomach and had tears sliding on there cheeks like a smooth roller coaster. They decided to stuff all those memories into one closet, the door to the past is what they will call it.
Mary had borrowed the car the other day to go on her job interview, while backing out of the garage of the office building she was blind sighted and crashed. Mary wasn't hurt, but couldn't say the same for the car. Putting a hole through her new carpet floor while pacing back and forth thinking about how she is going to tell Bill about his brand new car. Billy comes home and Mary tells him that she has something to tell him, he thinks that she got the job, but she tells him that he is wrong. To bring a little humor to the atmosphere she tells him that saved a whole bunch of money by switching the car insurance to Gieco, but bill didn't laugh. Her face is filled with distress, you wonder what happens next............

My Funny Roommate!!!!!

It was 6:30 in the morning the cold weather was piercing my body like a thousand knives, so i get up and steal my roommates blanket. 7:30 am it's time to get up, my roommates hates getting out of bed when it's cold. Each day out the week she makes a different sound at me when i wake her up. Today is Monday so she will sound like a bear. With her face looking in much need of lotion she finally wakes up with her hair sticking out in every direction. I would always want to laugh but I'm too tired and have no energy to stretch my cheeks to smile.

Unexpected fear of death

My mother asked me to go to the store to pick up some lemons for a dollar. My three year old godson Brandon wanted to tag along so i took him. As we left the store, Brandon said he wanted to take the long way home, so i did. As i was walking i noticed a young teenage boy in front of us. Living in Brooklyn you have to be aware of all of your surroundings. So i turned around and saw two other young teenage boys creeping towards the young man in front of me. One pulls out a knife and the other boy puts him in a choke hold. While trying to put my jaw back in place i grab Brandon like a football and ran across the street as soon as i saw one of the boys attempting to pull out a gun. Stray bullets have no sense of direction, so both of our lives was at risk, so the boys scattered in different directions when they heard the sirens from a distance getting closer and closer.